Gina Ardito: Romantic Comedy Author

Okay, so I never went to college; I never even took a creative writing course. When I tell people I write by the seat of
my pants, it's no exaggeration. Because of that, it will probably take me longer to become a published author than
those who have had formal training in the field. But I firmly believe I will succeed because I learned the rules of the
romance writing business a long time ago-as a child actually. And I'll bet you did, too. Whether it was sitting in the
classroom or playing with the other children at recess, the skills and knowledge I would need to master the business of
romance writing were acquired on the hallowed grounds of Deauville Gardens Elementary School.

Part I-The classroom

It all started in kindergarten. The Wednesday after Labor Day in 19--, I attended my very first day of school wearing
pigtails, a purple floral dress, and saddle shoes with white socks. My brain was eager to be filled with all the lessons
the world had to offer as I sat in the chair with the rectangular desk attached to it-fourth row, third seat. Soon, I began
acquiring the building blocks that would take me through my entire educational program. Some of those lessons
pertain to romance writing as well. Are any of these familiar to you?

Practice makes perfect. Remember when you first learned your ABC's? Twenty-six letters. Wow, I didn't think I'd
ever be able to recognize every one of them. Still, in Mrs. Palmer's class, we wrote them over and over, shaky at first,
but with more confidence as time went by. We sang songs about them, cut pictures from magazines and glued them
onto collages, and planned our days around them. Within no time, I knew them all. And not only did I know them, I
learned how to string them together into real words!

It's the same with the rules of writing. Point of view; misplaced modifiers; goal, motivation and conflict; dangling
participles; independent clauses; punctuation. It's all pretty daunting to the newbie writer. But every one of us has
learned to master the mechanics-how? By practicing, writing every chance we get, eating, drinking, and sleeping the
writing process, sharing our work and experience with other writers. The only difference is, now we call it, "honing our
craft."

Spelling and neatness count. How often have we heard about the editor who automatically rejects any query that
has her name misspelled on the address line? Or the agent who despises typos in the first three chapters because it
shows the writer didn't take the time to proofread? And really, can you blame them? If you don't care to send out your
very best work, why should they care to represent you?

Mind your manners. Ah, yes, the very first anecdote that comes to mind here is the wanna-be writer who slipped her
manuscript under the bathroom stall to get an editor's attention. Some in the writing community dismiss this as urban
legend, others swear it really happened. Regardless, would you look twice at a work that was delivered to you in this
bizarre fashion? Would you buy a car from the salesman who slipped a set of keys under the stall and insisted you take
a test drive just as soon as you pulled up your pants? 'Nuff said.

Do your homework. Whether you write historicals set in ancient Rome or contemporaries set in a Wall Street
boardroom, research is a writer's best friend and nemesis at the same time. It's a necessary evil. Trust me, if your hero
ties the wrong knot in his toga or invests in the wrong currency market in Ecuador, there'll be a reader out there who
knows it. Learn how to find the information you need and don't ever think you can slide by with a little bluffing. If
Mrs. Kellogg could see through the con jobs in your essays, you can bet Ms. Regular Romance Reader will see through
it in your novels, too!

If you don't understand something, ask. Romance writers are the most supportive, generous people in any career
field. And thanks to the Internet and hundreds of listserves available at the click of a mouse, if you need help, you can
find it in no time. For an obscure example, you could pose the question, "What did the caveman wear when his only
outfit was in the laundry?" I guarantee someone somewhere in the world who writes Neanderthal romances will have
an answer for you within twenty-four hours. Want to know about a specific agent or editor? Post a question on one of
the numerous links available. You'll get everything but their hat size!

Finish your assignments on time. Whether it's completing that very first manuscript or meeting the editor's deadline
on the twentieth novel, it's easy to let self-doubt, personal issues, and outsiders distract us from our objectives. Here's
to finding the discipline to finish what we start, a lesson we learned when writing that first book report or essay over
winter vacation.

Show and tell. Okay, so those two words don't mean the same now as they did in kindergarten. But then again,
maybe they do. During those intervals in elementary school, you brought in something from home that was unusual or
special. And when you were called upon to do so, you'd "show" the class your item and "tell" them all about it. In the
writing world, we "show" our readers the emotions and histories of our characters through their unusual or special
actions, and when we're called upon to do so, "tell" them what the characters are thinking.

No matter how hard you try, not everyone will like you. If you can survive that humiliating moment when you
were routinely the last kid chosen for basketball during gym class, a rejection letter is a walk in the park! At least that
pain is private. And as adults, we can drive to the store for the chocolate that always soothes our agony.

If at first you don't succeed...It's trite, but true. So you got that dreaded "R" letter I mentioned earlier, you stocked
up on Hershey's Kisses and Peanut Butter Cups. Now what? Why, you send the manuscript out again, of course! How
many times have we heard the story about the best-selling author who received forty-six rejections on the same work
until finally someone had the brains to pick it up, and the rest is history? Deep down, we all believe it will happen for
us in the exact same way. So we don't give up. We keep trying. We revise, resubmit and replay the waiting game. (It's
our own version of the three "R's.")

Not all our lessons were learned in the classroom, however. To find the perfect characters to fill the pages of our
romances, we must look outside the classroom. Recess time, everyone. Let's head to the playground!

Part II-The playground

The classroom might have been the perfect place to learn about the craft of writing, but it was on the playground that
I learned how to draft the very best characters for my stories. Face it. There are certain traits that our heroes and
heroines must have, even if they lie buried beneath the surface until the last few pages of the story. These same traits
were developed and nurtured while we hung from the monkey bars, or jumped rope, or pushed each other on the
swings. See if any of these ring a bell with you�

Always solve conflicts peaceably. Don't hit one another, don't call each other names, and don't drag friends into the
mess. Find a compromise. We expect nothing less from our heroes and heroines.

Respect the rights and property of others. Learn to share. Heroes and heroines are never greedy and always
maintain a sense of honor. Even if your hero is a cat burglar, he doesn't pursue this career out of malice or a sense of
lawlessness; there's a hidden reason, perfectly respectable of course, for his illegal course of action. And it's the
heroine's responsibility to make him see the error of his ways and guide him back to the straight and narrow before you
type, "The End." Or vice-versa if your heroine is the one with the crooked past.

"Different" doesn't necessarily mean better or worse. It just means different. In the romance genre, this falls
into the category of, "opposites attract." Over the course of the story, our characters learn to appreciate the qualities
that make their significant other unique. They must embrace the disparities of their own backgrounds and accept their
mate for who they truly are before they can find their Happily Ever After.

Not every win comes easily. Ah, the games of our youth. Football, soccer, field hockey, even dodgeball. They all
had two things in common: goals and obstacles. Heroes and heroines always have the motivation to achieve their
goals, but they must overcome obstacles, in the form of internal and external conflicts, to succeed at the game of love.

Traditional heroes are still the best. Cowboys, policemen, firemen. Need I say more? The dashing heroes of our
make believe fantasies translate perfectly onto the pages of our romance novels.

Working together as a team creates the best results. The gym teacher might tell you to bunt as a "sacrifice" to the
runner on first. Or after years of dreaming of being a starter for the basketball team, you accept a position as second
string. Heroes and heroines are teamplayers, never afraid to sacrifice for the good of others.

Good guys always get the girl. Yes, yes, I know. In high school, females tend to gravitate towards the "bad boy."
But in those first early years of social interaction in elementary school, we discover something that's temporarily
forgotten in the later rebellious days of puberty. Good guys are the ones who'll stick around. They don't mind playing
house, so long as you're willing to do the "yucky jobs," like changing the pretend baby's diaper and washing the make
believe dishes.

Happily, most of us revert back to Prince Charming a.k.a. the good guy when we begin thinking less about how to
annoy our parents and more about what we want for ourselves in married life. Face it. We love dark, dangerous,
tortured heroes, but they must never be petty, cruel or offensive. Ditto the heroine. And by the end of the story, with
the heroine's influence, the hero's sharp edges should have softened so that admitting love doesn't threaten his
masculinity.

There are also many habits from childhood that we leave behind in the sandbox and on the seesaw. When was the last
time you giggled when your man made that disgusting sound with his hand in his armpit? How long has it been since
you knew someone liked you because he teased you or pulled your hair? This, too, is a lesson for our characterizations.
Because, after all, if our characters don't mature through the process of falling in love, they don't deserve to fall in
love.

So there you have it. If you recognize any of these skills from your own days in elementary school, think about the
teachers and the classmates who instilled them in you. Maybe send a thank you note to one who really stands out. And
think about the teachers who are now instilling this special wisdom on the romance writers of the future. What
wonderful stories can we look forward to from these new generations? Who knows? But I'll bet they'll all have some
basis in the lessons of life they're learning in a classroom right now.