Every once in a while, I put my name into various search engines to see what pops up. It’s more than a vanity thing. It’s necessary to check for piracy (a rampant crime in digital publishing that steals money from the pocket of every author), to find reviews that might have slipped by, and to make sure there’s nothing nefarious linked to me.

The first several pages are always what I expect: my website, my blog, my Amazon page, Facebook, book reviews I’ve seen, Goodreads, even my old MySpace page pops up though I haven’t been there in years. But scroll about ten to twelve pages in and we enter the Twilight Zone. Here are a few of the bizarro items that popped up on Bing under “Gina Ardito” in those far-off pages:

Rare Girls of the South Seas 2009 Topless Women Calendar (pg 10) Umm…no. Just, no. For one thing, I’m paler than the moon. There is absolutely nothing “South Seas” about me. Let’s just leave it at that.

The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mystery Series Season 2 (pg 11) Sure, I read Nancy Drew when I was a teen, but I was never on the show–as far as I know.

USTA Tournaments (pg 15) So, all those times the Hubster teased me about our tennis games being as competitive as Wimbledon? Maybe he was on to something.

3 People Named Dan Tuell in the U.S. (pg 16) I don’t know anyone with this name. If you can figure out how this links to me, you’re more of a super genius than Wile E. Coyote. Him, I know.

Owner’s Manuals Motorabilia (pg 17) I bet the Hubster would *love* to order an owner’s manual for me. It would make his life soooo much easier!

Rx Muscle Contest Gallery (pg 22) I hope I’m a judge!

Have you put your name in a search engine? What odd links did you find?

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