13 Pet Peeves

To go with my cranky mood these days, here are 13 Pet Peeves that just make me crazy:

1. Colored milk caps. Okay, so can the dairy farmers of the nation please agree on a color for each type of milk? Even in the same supermarket, different brands use different color caps for the milk. In my family, the dh and I only use skim (aka fat-free) milk and the kids use 1%. Sometimes skim milk has a yellow cap, sometimes a blue cap, sometimes a purple cap. Ditto the 1%–sometimes yellow, sometimes blue, sometimes purple. Do you know how many times I’ve come home from shopping with two gallons of the same milk?! Help me out, please!

2. Drivers who don’t know the difference between “Yield” and “Merge.” And oh, God, please don’t get me started on the ones who enter a ramp for a highway and just stop dead at the curve!

3. Always Maxi Pads new slogan: Have a happy period! So obviously written by a clueless male.

4. Moms who take their sons into the ladies room and don’t clean up the seat afterward. This just happened to me at the hospital the other day. I realize Mom’s got three little ones and is trying to keep them all in line, but could you take a minute to enter the stall after your little boy and make sure his aim was accurate? Why should I have to clean up his pee? Honestly, I don’t find it adorable in my own kid; a stranger’s kid is waaaay down on my list of adorables (just below Genghis Khan.)

5. Drivers who throw their cigarette butts out the window. I’m always terrified I’ve got a gas leak I don’t know about and my car’s gonna go up in flames.

6. Forwarded email jokes that take me pages to scroll through because it’s been forwarded around the globe…twice. Please, please, please. If you get a joke you think is funny (or one of those “You are my friend” emails or “Lucky candles” or “angels” or whathaveyou) and you simply MUST share it with me, could you send it to only me? And take my addy off it before sending it out? I know it takes a little longer, but if I’m really that good a friend, aren’t I worth it? I’m still trying to clean up from an email hacker who’s sending my email addy all over Russia because of one of these stupid things.

7. Excessive packaging. From the kids’ toys that are wrapped in wire, mounted on cardboard and superglued to the box top to CDs with extra cellophane and sticky tape all around to DVDs with secret tabs you have to hold down at odd angles, enough already! It’s a ten dollar item! Does it have to be secured like the frickin’ Crown Jewels?

8. School projects that require parents with engineering degrees to complete. At my kids’ school there’s a 5th grade project I absolutely dread: The State Hat. Each child in the class is asked to choose a state and then he must design a hat based on something having to do with the state that (s)he can wear in a parade. The hat must include all pertinent facts, including population; capital; governor; the state flower, tree, and bird, places to visit; major industries; etc. Now, tell me. What 10 year old has the creativity and mechanical ability to do this project on his own? Next month, my son has to come up with a new scientific invention, diagram it and then design a scale model using household items. What ever happened to dioramas and book reports?

9. Empty containers put back in the cupboard or refrigerator. You know what I’m talking about: the cereal box that has nothing but dust, the milk carton with three drops left in the bottom, the empty cookie package, even the empty toilet paper roll falls into this category.

10. Drug commercials. The other day a commercial for one of those “restless leg syndrome” medications came on and the list of side effects included some of the most bizarre things: excessive gambling? Really? I think I’d rather have my leg kick out at night then blow the kids’ college tuition on a craps game. How ’bout you?

11. Commercials in movies. Whether it’s at a theater or on a recently purchased DVD, why must I sit thru ads for the National Guard, Coca-Cola, and Doritos? I’ve already paid to see the film. Isn’t that enough?

12. Books that don’t match their blurbs. I know authors often have to come up with blurbs before the editing process has ended, and lots of times, key plot points might wind up in the shredder. But some of these descriptions on the back are so far off the mark I wonder if they’ve been put on the wrong book. Maybe they’re being switched at the printers like those infamous newborn babies.

13. Not being able to come up with a 13th item for Thursday Thirteen.

So…What are some of your pet peeves?