You know those old adages people pull out as advice or what-have-you? Well, some of them are pretty stale and not really conducive to our current way of life. I’ve taken the liberty of updating a few (13, to be exact) for today’s world. Tell me what you think:

1. “A fool and his money…” have lots of friends on a Saturday night.
2. “The shortest distance between two points is…” probably under construction.
3. “We have nothing to fear but…” global warming.
4. “It’s always darkest…” right before the movie starts.
5. “If at first you don’t succeed…” call the Help Desk and hope you get someone who speaks English clearly.
6. “The early bird…” wakes me up every &$%# morning!
7. “Neither rain nor sleet nor dark of night…” shall keep a mother from her child’s team sport practice.
8. “That which doesn’t kill us…” is research for a story!
9. “Never judge a book by its…” blurb.
10. “The best things in life…” come wrapped in white, milk, or dark chocolate.
11. “Cleanliness is next…” on my to-do list, after hitting the NY Times Bestseller list.
12. “When the cat’s away…” there’s a lot more room in the bed.
13. “What goes up…” are gas prices!
Feel free to add your own.