So you’re looking for a new pen name? Or the perfect moniker for your character? My day job provides me with a huge array of names to choose from–many unusual or downright bizarre. Here are a few suggestions you might want to consider. Bear in mind, these are all real first names. Some poor schlep is walking around telling people, “Yes, that’s my real name.”

1. Oxygen

2. Belly

3. Heavyn

4. Embrya

5. Greymaire

6. Karamello

7. Harlot

8. Kahlua

9. Successful (Not too much pressure there, huh?)

10. Sufferine

11. Extra (I’m guessing this poor kid came as a total surprise to his parents.)

12. Diamonique

13. Velvita

Now don’t you feel better about the name your parents pinned on you?